


Stories Spawned by Sauron

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: General, Multi-Age, Plot - I reread often, Writing - Every word counts, Writing - Good use of humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2004-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 09:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3762721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My possible entries for the 'worst first lines' challenge. Warnings for: OOCness, bad writing, immature handling of adult matter, and general stupidity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Seven Jewels

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

This is the story of 7 sisters: Emerald, Ruby, Topaz, Opal, Saphire, Coral and Pearl who meet the Sons of Feanor and marry them (although they hate them at first, LOL) ad turn them Good and then help them find the three Simarills and make 4 more Simalrills and stick Maedhros hand back on.

_This really is the worst Silmarillion story I can think of._


	2. Healing Eowyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My possible entries for the 'worst first lines' challenge. Warnings for: OOCness, bad writing, immature handling of adult matter, and general stupidity.

Eowyn gained much wisdom in Halls of Healing, for she learned that, while the hands of a king are the hands of a healer, the member of a steward is the member of a particularly well-hung stallion.


	3. Feanor, Child Of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My possible entries for the 'worst first lines' challenge. Warnings for: OOCness, bad writing, immature handling of adult matter, and general stupidity.

Miriel shut the door behind her lover and reached for the ointment, thinking that, although second-degree burns in intimate places were both painful and hard to explain to her husband, the fiery love she shared with Gothmog made it all worthwhile.


	4. That Fiend Felagund

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My possible entries for the 'worst first lines' challenge. Warnings for: OOCness, bad writing, immature handling of adult matter, and general stupidity.

Finrod chuckled evilly as he ladled yet another helping of Dwarf liver in Human brain sauce onto his entwood plate, the frantic screams of the servants he had flogged to build up his appetite echoing sweetly in his ears.

_There is nothing that says 'badfic' to me like hideous OOCness. I hope this qualifies._


	5. Whoopsie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My possible entries for the 'worst first lines' challenge. Warnings for: OOCness, bad writing, immature handling of adult matter, and general stupidity.

As he watched Maedhros' severed left hand tumble down the clifface, Fingon realized just how hard it is to perform field surgery while riding a giant eagle.  



	6. Gandalf's Final Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My possible entries for the 'worst first lines' challenge. Warnings for: OOCness, bad writing, immature handling of adult matter, and general stupidity.

As he prepared to face the Balrog, Gandalf felt a strange sensation in his bowels and, for the first time in his life, envied Radagast his unattractive brown robes.

_I believe this is my personal worst entry. I mean, how could I sink any lower?_


End file.
